Love?

Ladies and Gents, 
       
 I've done A LOT of thinking today. So, if you all don't mind i'm going to rant for a bit :) trust me this is good information for you (or maybe you can steal it from me to give advice to a friend or family member)!
So read on!
       
         I wonder why people use the word "Love" so carelessly! I mean what possess' them to do such a thing? I just can't comprehend how people can "Fall in LOVE" a couple days after they meet and start saying "I Love You" a couple weeks later. It's incredibly confusing.(I'm sure that we ALL are probably guilty of this, but for it to happen more than once! Aggravating!) How do they know for sure it's love? For all they know it could be infatuation or lust (lust doesn't always have to be physical they can lust over one another in a companionship sense). I think that people rush into things really fast because for one it's human nature to long for a life long companion and for two some people are just plain desperate and think that just because they get this butterfly feeling in their stomach when they are near one another that it MUST be love. I disagree with that. I wouldn't say that I know for sure exactly what love is, but I believe that I have a comprehension of what I would want it to be or what it may be. I am very young still and I'm pretty sure that I wont be "in love" anytime soon. I understand that sometimes it's difficult to refrain from saying "I Love You" because you have to admit it's wonderful to hear it back and it makes you feel that sense of companionship that I mentioned earlier, but I think that when you say it to a girl/guy it makes things really complicated. It's not only harder to end the relationship (because if you said it a few weeks or even a few months into the relationship it's probably not going to work about. Especially if you are young. As am I) but if and when you do, you definitely aren't going to have a friendship with that person because if you broke up with him/her they will use the "I Love You" that you used in the VERY beginning (HUGE MISTAKE) against you and say "I thought you 'LOVED' me!! Why would you break up with me if you did??" then that just leaves you in a sticky icky position. To say the least it's just best to refrain from the statement "I Love You" until your completely positive. You may be asking yourself 'How do I become completely positive?' Well, you may think my answer for you is going to be very complicated but honestly it's pretty simple...Prayer. Yes, Prayer! God will in time reveal it to you and it will make things so much smoother and you can possibly have a very good relationship that may last a lifetime as you hoped in the beginning. 

I would like to share a few opinions of my own to think about before getting in a relationship with somebody or even thinking about getting into one. 
 
1. Are you fully committed to God? This is the number ONE thing to consider before "jumping" into anything. If your not fully committed to God, chances are the Guy/Girl also will not be. If they are they shouldn't be considering a relationship with you or if you are and they aren't, you shouldn't consider a relationship with them until you pray for it and ask God if it's his will, for him to work on that guy/girl to be fully committed to him and let it go into God's hands and let him deal with it (Don't start a relationship with that person until God has clearly answered your prayer.) Be careful when listening for an answer from God. The devil can easily influence your thoughts and make you think it's God when it's really not (that can be another lesson for the future maybe). Chances are, if the person you prayed for hasn't changed at all and you hear a voice telling you it's okay to get with them that's probably not God. So if your not already committed to God, Do so! Things are SO SO much easier when you are, not only in relationships but in life. You will be a much much happier person GUARANTEED! 

2. Can you see yourself marrying this person? There are three different answers to this question. A) I cannot see myself marrying this person. It will NOT work out trust me you'll just be using that person for a temporary companion. (maybe your even using that person for rebound! I will expound more on Rebound in #3.) Not good you will hurt them. B) I can see myself marrying this person but I'm not sure if I will be able to live with some of his/her flaws. BE CAREFUL! Again give it to God to deal with his/her flaws, or even talk to that person tell them what bothers you and see if they are willing to work on it. C) I can see myself marrying this person flaws and all! (again if they aren't fully committed to God that's not what I'm considering a "Flaw" that your willing to deal with!) That's fantastic! Good luck, continue on...

3. Are you planning on using this person for rebound? Don't do it. It's a really bad mistake! That's all I can really say. Nothing really positive to say about that sorry people. Just don't do it!  Pray and ask God to help you get over your ex! He will help you I promise. 

4. Do your or him/her long for a physical relationship? If so, you/him/her are probably not fully committed to God (If you are, ask God to help you control yourself and give you a longing for a happy, healthy, Godly, Clean relationship.) If you were God usually takes those longings away the moment you completely surrender to him (but sometimes you have to ask for him to take them away.) and they turn into longings for a happy, clean, and Godly relationship. So maybe you should work on #1.  

5. Are you lowering your standards for him/her? If you are, that is a very bad idea. When you lower your standards just a tiny bit you may think 'Well it's not big deal it's just a small thing' and you will end up lowering it every time a "small" thing comes along that doesn't meet your standards of what your looking for and from there you will end up lowering it for something huge but you will be blinded by all the little things you lowered it for and you will again think that it's "no big deal" In all reality it is!! Don't do it. It will leave your relationship in a mess or you may even end up not having a relationship at all! 

Sigh.. well there are MANY MANY more but those are the main ones I wanted to focus on! (Plush my fingers hurt from typing lol) 
I hope this helps many! I'm not trying to say that I have all the answers because trust me I know all this from experience and I wanted to share what I have learned with you in hopes of helping someone! I love you all and I want the best for you all :). I really hope I'm not coming across as a know it all! As I stated above I don't have all the answers, in fact I have TONS to learn. I just want you all to learn from what I have learned so far and hopefully eliminate that "Learning the hard way" step in your life. I wish I could have but now I can help people from the information I learned from my mistakes.


Ta ta
The lovely maiden 
Kristyna Smith